17 Things Self-Published Authors Might Say To Each Other

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1.  “If any author can self-publish a book, then it must be pretty easy.”
 
2.  “Yeh, sure there’s lots of self-published authors now, but they didn’t properly self-publish like I did.”
 
3.  “She must be lying about her sales figures.”
 
4.  “Where do you all get the time to do the marketing?”
 
5.  “I bet most of you don’t have proper day jobs.”
 
6.  “You paid them how much?!”
 
7.  “You should have went with CreateSpace or Lightning Source like I did.”
 
8.  “Yeh, I read all the blog stuff. I’d say I learned most of what I know about self-publishing from Konrath and Hocking.”
 
9.  “It’s great this indie thing. It’s almost as big as the civil rights movement in the 1960s!”
 
10. “I’m really just looking to get it printed.”
 
11. “Would you be interested in doing a review of my book?”
 
12. “If I buy your book, will you buy mine? Or maybe it would be better if we just swap!”
 
13. “Hang on. I’ll just go grab a copy from the boot of the car and sign it for you.”
 
14. “Oh, it’s kind of a Harry Potter-meets-and-falls-in-love-with-vampire type of book.”
 
15. “I can’t understand why my last royalty check was so small. I know twenty people who swear they bought it.”
 
16. “Yes, I’m already set to published the second book. It’s a how-to on self-publishing and marketing books for authors.”
 
17. “How many pages are in your new e-book?”

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