Oh, dear, what an embarrassing rant from author, John Green. Yes, Johnny baby, we did Ann Patchett a few weeks ago. She didn’t fare too well, either.
 

Green’s rant was actually part of an acceptance speech for an award by The American Booksellers Association. Green wants us to know that he is happy with all the backing the traditional publishing engine provides for his books. He is described by the HuffPuff as an author with 1.5 million Twitter followers and a popular Tumblr page. The Guardian UK has also picked up on the story here, telling us why he will never self-publish. That’s also nice, Johnny Baby. I don’t ever remember telling you that you had to self-publish or exactly who told you that you had to. Maybe you’re listening to too many people who know jack-shit about publishing?

 

In fact, frankly, Johnny, I didn’t know you were even an author until this week. Maybe you think that’s my mistake?
 

I love the way you hop right and left in your video. It’s hilarious! But I’m not sure how you equate that to selling books. Maybe you leave that to Penguin, your publicist and all the people you thank on this video. We self-publishers also work directly with all those people as well. Or maybe it’s the wacky behaviour you preform that has amassed 1.5 million Twitter followers. I’d doubt those 1.5 million Twitter followers are actually people who have bought your books.

 

Believe me, whatever you’re listening to, and whoever you’re listening to – you ain’t no author changing the publishing paradigm!

 

So, Johnny, take a deep breath… maybe that’s something you haven’t done in a while. I’m delighted you’re happy where you are, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us are unhappy. Climb down off your high horse and go write another good book. If everything works out great in the future – good for you. But we’re still here for you if you ever need us.

 

I think it’s great that you have found value in the publishing path you have taken. But while I’m delighted you can spend so much time on writing good books, I’d also set aside an hour or two each day working on trying not to be such an obnoxious asshole. But, hey, who am I, maybe that’s what sells books for you!